Gotta love the 80s...shoulder pads, Atari, & Scott Baio.
Scott Baio on the cover of his ill advised pop album
So I had a huge crush on Scott Baio, but not just for his dashing good looks. At five years old, I considered Mr. Baio an exemplary thespian. He was the only reason I watched "Happy Days", and I may have been the only one in the nation who watched its spin off, "Jonie Loves Chachi". I credit his performance in "Stoned", an ABC Afterschool Special about the hazards of smoking pot, with keeping a few American kids drug free, but possibly making most of them actually want to get high.
Cheech and Chachi
Scott Baio in "Stoned" An ABC Afterschool Special
"Stoned" was true to the ASS formula (no pun intended): geeky kid with potential (played by Baio) has no friends and feels lame, hooks up with cool loser dude who smokes pot, starts getting high, wins friends and influences people to think he's a loser too, then does something stupid, all thanks to the ganja.
Hey kids, don't smoke and boat!
Baio's career as a troubled teen had a pretty good run with "After School Specials". He starred in another memorable morality episode in "The Boy Who Drank Too Much". He played- you guessed it-the boy who drank too much.
When I was a teen, I ran with a pretty motely crew. I was
the anomaly of the group, as I never really did anything wild or rebellious. My
role was to provide the conscience, the voice of reason, and the place to crash
when someone's parents caught them in some dubious act. I remember one late
night, a friend lay sobbing on
my bed about her positive pregnancy test. I gave her a brief keep-your- head-up–girl-speech, to which she
responded “Wow T, you’re sooooo Afterschool Special”.
“ABC’s Afterschool Special” ran from 1972 to 1997. It was
an anthology series that aired in the 4 PM timeslot, intended to reach the
youth viewing population after school. Each episode was a drama that tackled tough topics relevant to teenage life such as sex, drugs, divorce, sex, drugs,
alcoholism, sex, drugs, crushing on your teacher, sex, drugs, illiteracy, sex,
drugs…you get the picture.
ABCs Afterschool Special
Say No to drugs... and plaid shirts
The goal for these morality shows was to show teens in situations like being pregnant, or addicted to drugs and demonstrating the consequences of their choices. Sometimes the teens were faced with ordeals such as the loss of a parent, or bullying.
As for me and my crew, we almost considered these shows more like lightweight soap operas, amused by the melodrama and hilariously intense background music, yet disappointed at how watered down the the story lines were compared to what was happening in our neighborhood. Episodes like "The Late Great Me," about a girl who started drinking to impress her boyfriend, was more so a reprieve from the real life drama of, say, finding out your dad is back smoking crack.
Nevertheless, ABCs Afterschool Specials did a lot to show teen viewers that the issues affecting them were important enough to tackle, and corny music or not, succeeded in leaving an impact on our culture.
Next post, I will explore some of the memorable (and forgetful) "Afterschool" eps.
So I'm riding shotgun in my friend's SUV when he decides to pull out his iPhone and use both hands to text, while driving with his knees. Pretty certain that this is illegal, I calmly share with him that there happens to be a law in Georgia against texting and driving, and quite possibly knee steering. He pointedly-and erroneously- informs me that there is no law, it's simply just a bill. And then the analog memories started to flood my mind...
"I'm Just a Bill"
ABCs "Schoolhouse Rocks" circa 1975
I am convinced that the current state of our educational system will greatly improve if we just return "Schoolhouse Rock" to the television airwaves. From 1973 to 1985, ABC ran this series of animated shorts in between Saturday morning cartoons (another television relic). The "Schoolhouse"shorts were typically about three minutes long and did a super job of tricking kids into learning something worthwhile on the weekend. Deceptively delightful, the episodes showed lively musical numbers on subjects like mathematics, grammar, science, civics, and economy.
"Schoolhouse Rock" was created by David McCall, an ingenious dad who noticed that his grade school son could remember all the lyrics to popular rock songs, but multiplication tables? Not so much. Well I don't know how much it helped his son pass the third grade, but I can tell you these shows definitely had a Pavlovian effect on me. I was exposed to Schoolhouse since birth, and by the time I could identify the number three I automatically knew it was the magic number.
Bob Dourough, a jazz singer and composer, was the genius behind many of the memorable melodies on "Schoolhouse Rocks" such as "Conjunction, Junction", "Electricity, Electricity", and "Three is the Magic Number". The musical numbers ranged from folksy to bluesy, from soulful to classic rock, and had memorable melodies, which was obviously the purpose.
No more, no less...
"Three is the Magic Number" by Bob Dourough
The thing that I love the most about Schoolhouse Rocks is that it's so quentessentially 70s. The illustrators drew characters that reflected our diverse American population and the "everybody's beautiful" sentiment of that time. Coming off the turbulence of the 60s, it was refreshing for kids to see little red haired, freckled white kids happily playing with little black kids with afros, all learning their times tables and how to unpack their adjectives.
"Unpack Your Adjectives"
Schoolhouse Rocks circa 1973
I vote for "Schoolhouse Rock" in every school-that should be a law.
